I'm so Thankful::~

I cried in my bathroom today::~
I wasn't sad though::~
I would say it was a mixture of happiness and guilt::~
But it was a turning point for me::~
The things I craved for are no longer my goals::~
It's the things I have::~
The things I didn't use to treasure::~
The things which might be taken away from me::~
To be with God::~
The things I cannot have with me, forever, in the future::~
The gift an intervention of someone's life with mine::~
To be loved unconditionally::~
Memories may leave their mark::~
But the hard fact is that::~
No one lives forever to love me, forever::~
I cried for that::~
I cried because I was thankful that I still have it now::~
I cried because I was feeling guilty when I didn't treasure it::~
I thought my actions were enough::~
But they weren't::~
But I'm not too late::~
It's never too late to tell and show to those you love, that you love them::~
To be able to send out the msg::~
That we're not alone::~
That we're held together by a bond::~
That feeling of being important to someone in your life::~
That feeling when you make someone you love happy::~
That feeling of security that someone is watching over you no matter what happens::~
That feeling of still being loved::~
Even if you're being the most irritating, bothersome or hurtful person::~
There is always some, soul out there::~
Making sure you're safe and happy::~
Whether it is your lover
Your parents::~
Your grandparents::~
Your siblings::~
Your best friend::~
Or your friends::~
I cried because I'm thankful::~
That I have them to watch over me::~
And love me, no matter what::~
As I would to them::~
I cried because God hasn't taken them away from me::~
Only He has the Power capable to do so::~
Because I know that with the rest of my life::~
I will treasure those dear to me::~
As much as I will myself to::~
As much as I'm capable of::~
And maybe even more::~

I love you guys::~
and thanks so much::~

And there's my Rays of Hope::~

There are rough patches in life::~
Speed bumps as you may say::~
But after every bump,
I'd prefer to speed... again::~
That's my adrenaline rush::~
My happiness::~
My hopes::~

Revived after a storm::~
With you guiding my way::~
Removing me from the darkness::~
Providing me the colours I lack, to paint my future::~
Into a new chapter of my life::~
On every page, with you in it::~

Thank you so much::~
For not giving up::~

Love,
Mel

Distance of the heart::~

It’s been a rough week::~

Realizations happened::~

Truths told::~

Hearts broken::~

Tears poured over the truth and uncertainties::~

Baby, I’m in the dark::~

Drowned in the wails of my aching heart::~

I just want to be rescued from this pain::~

I cant do this alone::~

Not when you keep leaving me::~

Its scary really::~

To know what the future holds::~

Promises made were meant to heal::~

Faith is restored::~

Yet its tiring::~

I don’t know whether I have the stamina to hold on::~

Give me something to cherish::~

Give me something for Hope::~

Everlasting love is possible::~

Preserving its pure form is the tough part::~

It’s being tainted::~

by sadness::~

and worse still::~

Distance of the heart::~

I really do::~

I want to stop feeling that pain in my heart::~
I want it to stop hurting so much::~

Promise me I'll heal::~
Promise me it'll go away::~
Like a bad dream::~


I just want to stop crying::~
Please::~

Unconditional Love, anyone~???

Feeling insecure lately::~
Hmmm::~
Must be the stress::~
Paranoia sucks::~
Went through it once::~
and now it's happening again::~
*sigh*
Gosh::~
I'm so tired::~
Give me a break, will you~???

I know you cared, Baby::~

He finally knows what was meant to be known::~
I think "we" are gonna be tons better::~
Not that we're not::~
I'm really happy with "us" lately::~
He is too::~
Well, as far as I... I'm pretty sure::~
Well::~
The romance is definitely back, full throttle::~
We're both in our passionate, lovey dovey universe::~
I hope I'm making him the happiest bf alive::~
Cuz he's making my world amazingly perfect::~
Of my life and my family::~
And most of all::~
Of me, in love::~
I love him for making me love him::~
It's that simple, really::~

She's right sometimes::~

I dunno::~
Maybe it's true::~
I thought I can give up my all for him::~
But I guess I'm wrong::~
You can't change who I am::~
I Love Fashion::~
You can't make me give it up::~
Not like I'm making you give up DotA right~???
Ish ish ish::~
I'd understand if you wanna make sure I'm protecting my assets from public views and stuff::~
I'm learning to do exactly that and master that art::~
But just b'cuz I wear fancier::~
It's a crime~???
FYI :: I don't think my outfits are sexy::~
Believe me::~
It's all over the market::~
I know I'm in Malaysia::~
Where the culture is freaking closed minded::~
We're in an Islamic country for goodness sake::~
T-shirts and jeans is so not me k~???
Please understand::~
It's like telling dudes to wear PINK HOT PANTS all year round::~
So, our culture is "practising" T-shirt & jeans in all it's colleges::~
& I know that I'm supposed to concentrate on my studies while I'm in college::~
Who says I'm not doing that in my fancier asembles~???
And the whole guy gawping at girl thing::~
It freaking happens all the time::~
It's in every guy's chemistry::~
Okay::~
I admit that I don't like guys to gawp/stare/look at me as though I'm from outer universe::~
But why let their stares stop me from what I've loved~???
I wear what I like to please myself::~
My need to have an image which is fairly better than average for self confidence::~
I'm sorry but I've my limits::~
and this is one of them::~
I know you care::~
and I'm a lil off* with the protecting myself thingy::~
working on it::~
But reasons beyond that::~
Is beyond me::~

Love,
Mel

My Boyfriend

He makes me laugh and tells me I'm pretty::~
And I feel even prettier each time::~
He's so funny I can't stop laughing::~
I'm even laughing now::~
We went to the beach and he said I was pretty::~
We went ice-skating and he said I was pretty::~
He fell down and then I fell down::~
And we were laughing and then he kissed me::~

~::Adapted from The Gossip Girl prequel

Laa-dee-Darr::~
I'm watching the shows soon~!!!